getting more & more depressed day by day.

am i really labelled as such a lazy bum tt noone believes tt i really do the household chores? i mop the floor, wash & iron clothes, wipe & tidy up the whole flat... but noone ever believes it. it may be a trivial matter, but i've kena too many of such displays of disbelief tt it's hurting my pride. when i do all the work, pp prob assume tt law has done everything. but when they find some dirt on it, they'd prob just put the blame on me.

and what's the use of doing so much? are they important? does doing all these (and at the same time bringing moolah home) guarantee a perfect relationship, a perfect marriage? how much do pp really appreciate wat is being done?

come to think of it. i'm just so unwanted. right from before the beginning of my life. i was nearly aborted, cos i was unwanted. and i was always alone in sch, at the workplace, cos i was unwanted. who knows, perhaps i had gotten married so quickly bcos i know i am unwanted & i got excited over the fact tt someone actually wanted me?

being a fat & ugly pig exacerbates the whole situation. how i wish i were tall & slim... and looked less like a pig. why is it tt my siblings & i are from the same factory, but i look such a disaster? maybe i'm just fated to be unwanted. maybe bcos i did loads of nasty things in my previous life. maybe it's just retribution. life is never fair, and i gotta accept it. but it's so difficult.

life is pure misery.