disappointment

i feel so stupid. doing up snowflakes to decorate the windows, and putting up the xmas fleece blanket, spending half a day of my previous PH cleaning up the home, spending the time, effort & money to buy presents for the gift exchange as well as for the games, planning wat to play, wat to eat. felt kinda upset initially when no one bothers to reply to my msg in facebook. den now, she comes & tell me last min tt she is not coming. who knows, maybe one by one, they'd suddenly come tell me last min tt they all cannot make it. all the efforts gone down the drain.

wat the fuck is wrong with her? why is she always gg gaga over him? everytime talk also talk abt him. even when i was so bloody depressed & suicidal, all she can talk abt is him lo. it's as if he has taken over not just her body, but her soul. i cannot help but think tt if i can go back to time, i would have told her not to go for this rship. but i am not god. and i am not anybody to her. i have oredi tried to suppress my disappointment when all she ditched me for him in all the travel plans. i bet she even forgot tt we were supposed to go places like HK together. but now, she is like so bloody desperate to stick to him, ditch not just me, but all her frens & her family, for him. is this how love is like? living in ur own world & fuck care abt the pp who used to be so close & dear to u? fine, u give us up. i can give u up too. from now on, i shall label u as my acquaintance. just someone whom i used to go to sch wif. dun call me "dear", cos u do not mean it at all. fuck off.