Saturday, May 28, 2005

bad bad week

another depressing week had just passed by.

once again, my strong intuition had turned to reality & it seems like history always repeats itself. he has left me for the umpteenth time and i simply have no more energy left. everybody says that i dun look affected but i just feel as if needles are poking into my heart and mind every minute of my life. i feel hurt definitely, and also an enormous gush of anger burning inside me. i think back abt the past and mourn for my stupidity in committing the mistake not just once, but countless times. frens and colleagues tell me that i have all the qualities tt most guys wld like, but i just feel numb and tired. i tell myself that i dun really love him, as not one drop of tear i could shed. but i look back and realise that i actually felt happier and more beautiful with him around me. i dance like a pixie in front of him, smile like a flower while taking fotos with him, and yak to my frens abt how silly he can be sometimes. i guess the silly one is actually me.

the air of depression fills the entire office for the whole week. 3 RMs and 1 teamhead had tendered and the ones left behind can hardly smile. now i know why he looks so down these weeks. so we accompanied him down to winebar after dinner at sushi tei. challenged him to gulp down abt 10 shots and yet i cld still not get high. went down to barcelona with the others shortly after and had a horrible glass of malibu raspberry. the liveband wasnt as great as i had thought. oh well. it's just another friday night whereby lonely and low spirited pp get together.

clem said that i am someone who actually hopes to settle down & have kids one day. i guess deep down inside me, i just wish to have someone who truly appreciates me for who i am & what i had done for them.

4 Comments:

Blogger * Gerald * said...

You will find the 'Right One' one day....cheer up. You still have friends who care!

11:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Correction:
I didnt left you for someone else as the fact is that I am not with anyone at all. I really have things to tell you... but I am really not sure if you are ready to listen.

7:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Look on the bright side. I think you guys ought to talk. Can see you are happier with him. The beauty of been couple is not just for a min of happiness but also about looking far.
Do treasure your love ones that are around you.

9:14 AM  
Blogger kimmie said...

sometimes, choice is not allowed. anyway, i'm doing fine without any guys.

11:26 PM  

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