bad bad week

another depressing week had just passed by.

once again, my strong intuition had turned to reality & it seems like history always repeats itself. he has left me for the umpteenth time and i simply have no more energy left. everybody says that i dun look affected but i just feel as if needles are poking into my heart and mind every minute of my life. i feel hurt definitely, and also an enormous gush of anger burning inside me. i think back abt the past and mourn for my stupidity in committing the mistake not just once, but countless times. frens and colleagues tell me that i have all the qualities tt most guys wld like, but i just feel numb and tired. i tell myself that i dun really love him, as not one drop of tear i could shed. but i look back and realise that i actually felt happier and more beautiful with him around me. i dance like a pixie in front of him, smile like a flower while taking fotos with him, and yak to my frens abt how silly he can be sometimes. i guess the silly one is actually me.

the air of depression fills the entire office for the whole week. 3 RMs and 1 teamhead had tendered and the ones left behind can hardly smile. now i know why he looks so down these weeks. so we accompanied him down to winebar after dinner at sushi tei. challenged him to gulp down abt 10 shots and yet i cld still not get high. went down to barcelona with the others shortly after and had a horrible glass of malibu raspberry. the liveband wasnt as great as i had thought. oh well. it's just another friday night whereby lonely and low spirited pp get together.

clem said that i am someone who actually hopes to settle down & have kids one day. i guess deep down inside me, i just wish to have someone who truly appreciates me for who i am & what i had done for them.

happy vesak day

had a rather fulfilling vesak wkend (and it's not over yet!)

thanks to wc, i gotta know that working on sats entitle me to half day offs, so i decided to make use of my rightful OFFs and slept through the entire friday. only met up with jess for a drink (non-alcoholic!) and light hearted chat before i headed home ard 10.20pm.

sat, packed my bags in a jiffy & headed off to siloso beach right after breakkie. earliest record of 11am hehe. halfway thru reading my book "to kill a mockingbird" (i simply cldn't find my "tue wif morrie"!! whoever borrowed it pls return to me ASAP pls) & was abt to drift off to slumberland when i suddenly heard my mobile ring! and when i turned ard to pick up the call, i saw a REALLY BIG GORILLA!

it was teddy.



all smiles he brought along, together with a few ah beng frens & a large icebox! soon after, we were toasting to chardonnay & heineken beer, possibly the best beer in the world (DUH). played bollieball & frizbie...been quite a while since i played & ran so hard man...real *chwan*!!! but it was really quite fun la, esp when u purposely throw the frizbie far far & make the person run like a dog. hey it's a gd way of exercising too! tt's why i decided to go sentosa every sat & ecp (rollerblade!) every sun. unless im meeting frens for other activities la, tt is.


teddy & his VERY OLD ganjie

after sentosa, headed home to change - was supposed to meet ash for dinner but somehow, schedule all "ga-bra" (hehe bern's fav term. if u dunno wat it means, ASK ME). happened to sms clem & he seemed a bit down, so gathered him to go down to insomnia, chjimes with me. all 4 of us (incl. ash's 2 GFs) swayed to the performance of liveband, mainly rock & retro. but somehow or rather, tt plc didnt make me feel like gg back. (i still prefer wisma indochine, prob bcos they play tunes from chicago & hoobastank etc. but i havent found any liveband who plays linkin park & aerosmith. darn cool tt rocker!) went for supper with ash & GFs at mr bean & headed home shortly after - found it hard to strike conversation with them somehow.



today (vesak day!), went orchard - NOT shopping! cos the crowd is horrendous! went back office to clear my mails & was supposed to revise those cross border a/cs but ended up gg taka with sandy & clem ard 3.40pm. went kinokuniya as sandy wanted to buy some magz & bumped into DT! he appeared dazed as usual & was in his trademark sleeveless basketball jersey. wanted to sit down & have some drinks at coffee club but sandy had prior appt & the plc was ill-ventilated! went paris miki subsequently & went into a foto-taking frenzy (ok la juz 3 pix as below). find those specz quite cool!


clem & sandy at cafe







after tt, clem longbang me to bishan (6pm appt wif ash, estell & kh). makan at mos burger & had a nice chat with them. estell brought some homework out to "test" us. basically some printads, all tag heuer, asking for our opinions on the ads. there was uma thurman, maria sharapova & tiger woods. maria wins my hearts for sure man. hehe.


looking old & boring in mos burger


the same old boring pose

kh left ard 8pm after labelling me as a "chia zabor" and a final note of "have a happy life" (how philosophical!) & the 3 of us were left stranded in e bishan territory. there werent any suitable movies to watch, so we decided to head down to ktv. coincidentally, clem had finished his family dindin & joined us in the roaring competition.

Cryin'

There was a time
When I was so broken hearted
Love wasn't much of a friend of mine
The tables have turned, yeah
'Cause me and them ways have parted
That kind of love was the killin' kind
Now listen
All I want is someone I can't resist
I know all I need to know by the way that I got kissed

[chorus]
I was cryin' when I met you
Now I'm tryin' to forget you
Love is sweet misery
I was cryin' just to get you
Now I'm dyin' cause I let you
Do what you do - down on me

Now there's not even breathin' room
Between pleasure and pain
Yeah you cry when we're makin' love
Must be one and the same

It's down on me
Yeah I got to tell you one thing
It's been on my mind
Girl I gotta say
We're partners in crime
You got that certain something
What you give to me
Takes my breath away
Now the word out on the street
Is the devil's in your kiss
If our love goes up in flames
It's a fire I can't resist

[chorus]

'Cause what you got inside
Ain't where your love should stay
Yeah, our love, sweet love, ain't love
If you give your heart away

[chorus]
baby, baby, baby

[chorus]
I was cryin' when I met you
Now I'm dyin' to forget you
Your love is sweet
I was cryin' when I met you
[fade]