flings

define "fling"

1. The act of flinging.
2. A brief period of indulging one's impulses. See Synonyms at binge.
3. Informal. A usually brief attempt or effort: You take a fling at it.
4. A brief sexual or romantic relationship.

see synonyms at binge?? doesnt tt seem so interesting?? i think pp can starting calling their flings "doritos" or "nachos" instead of the fake and insincere "my sweet lil bunny" ("pringirl" is exclusive k).

anyway who and what determines the time period for "brief"?? 2 weeks? one month?? 3 months??

any enlightenment??

天之骄女

悠长工作 过后仍是工作
围内一个都不可跟你享乐
还是发觉再没有多少话讲
难道有事亦会没承诺
随着我 上进心 已跟顶峰这样近
你的娇小自尊伤损太深

旁人话我看起你 居然拣你 别理世间这么细腻
明日变成 恋爱传奇 觅个办法做个预算每分每刻每夜都于一起
但是你我都欠见地 情人就似好的知己
但让你有别的女子也许我都永不会知错 从头欢喜
无时候陪你 这一生不够十个星期真可交给你 但我又如何伴人 仍是爱着你

忙来赶去 我们如何可追 如何争取这天子充满恐惧
明日不必我没有芳心容许 流泪也是人叫便流泪

旁人话我看起你 居然拣你 别理世间这么细腻
明日变成 恋爱传奇 觅个办法做个预算每分每刻每夜都于一起
但是你我都欠见地 情人就似好的知己 但没有转机
没法说起 只因彼此投入到不相干的境气
连平日我工作痛苦都不敢说起

诚恳讲对不起你 都委屈你 任那世间诸多妒忌
谁又好奇总有好奇 觅个办法做个预算每分每刻每夜都于一起
就让我迷恋惹妒忌 而其实我都输不起
就让你的爱心储起记忆储起有关你的没人可比
仍然奉承你 是毕生好友就似演员都必需交戏 但我柔情蜜意全为你起
这段爱一定有转机 脚步愿放慢迎合去就你

fear

suddenly im afraid of it all.

i guess its only natural.

now i know why pp hate uncertainty.

fuck it? i say fuck YOU

went to a gay pub at tg pagar on fri nite wif gerald. not exactly an eye opener for me cos the gay shows are similar to the one i seen b4..e standard kumar show. den got some folks having a mini dance competition n den the more prof gay dancing..which didnt interest me at all. *yawnz* but something happened tt nite. my first time ever. did i drink too much? i felt totally sober thou. she felt so soft..vulnerable (or so i thot)..okay why the fuck am i putting dis on my blog?? i merely kissed somebody & it's not a guy. big deal?





anyway i reached home ard 4am. was totally knocked out in the cab and when he finally reached my place i opened the door and puked by the roadside..as usual haha. cab drivers must love me for not dirtying their seats huh. hmm...woke up ard 9+ cos supposed to go sentosa wif justin & frens...was really quite stoned when i reached at 1pm..mag didnt come cos weather wasnt really fantastic. rained a little during our bolly and frisbee sessions. i didnt play much but it was nice la. but need to train up a bit..missed the time when i played with pingping & her macho frens..pretty competitive but it's gd la.

after tt went scotts w justin for dinner. window shopped a bit & quite sad tt i didnt get to buy anything haha. mebbi save e money for my blades huh. yea supposed to go buy today but ended up sleeping away..think i got a bit feverish too. sweated a bit & nearly puked in my dustbin. yucks. ok ok back to my sat nite. went clubbing at dblo (yea yea tt plc again)..didnt really drink a lot la. prob all in all...one jug 2 shots?? but things happened la. it felt gd la but my intuition tells me tt i am being played again. and again i was sober k. tmd.



---
i'm quite sick of pp making use of me & then casting me aside.

fuck u pp.

enuff said.

an email correspondence to boost my totally smashed ego

a guy: hey babe..r u ok? cheer up ok?? =)

kimmie: ur mail sure cheered me up. feeling quite pissed with some pp too. haha. hmm what have u been doing?!

a guy: i veli sian leh..everyday wake up 2pm..practice piano...so sian..aiy wats makes u think i got gf??

kimmie: aren't u fortunate to be doing wat u're passionate abt everyday?? hmm but to play everyday sounds scary...ur dad so strict?? with ur talent & looks, shldnt have any prob getting a GF??

a guy: well..actualli i should be practising the piano abt 5-8 hours a day..but i lazy leh...haha..remember the day i and my dad went to ur office? the moment u came in to the room hor..i was like...waa chio man~!! haha..but papa was there..so must act normal..

kimmie: well i gotta work from abt 9-10 hours a day... does tt sound any comfort to u?? hey u make my day again man!! hahaha. r u always such a sweet talker?? hahaha wat wld u do if ur dad wasnt there??

a guy: haha..i would probably hug u?? haha..no lah just joking..dun scared...just joking..well...probably ask for ur number?? hehe..aiya anyway u sure wun give one leh..

---
to the guy who wrote me dis email...dun get angry if u happen to see dis post k. some things are nice to remember. chill!

an angry post

i was so angry with her for past few days.

she had said to send out all docs on mon, so i waited for her. den come mon, when i wanted to help her zap her pile, she said she sent out liao. didnt even wait for me! fucking bitch..in e end i sent out my own stack. dun care liao. tdy, she sent me an email asking me when it'd be a gd time to hand over to her. why the hell is she sending tt email to me when she is sitting just next to me? bloody hell. she had an appt at 4pm, so i replied her: after her appt. den she can reply to me: what time? wtf? i very the tulan her liao k.

plus e fact tt somebody nvr do her job properly yet claimed tt she is "capable". den can flash her disgusting pearlies at anyone and everyone, but secretly talk bad behind their backs. oh yea and all those complaints abt having too much work, thus had to delegate tasks? but why do i always see her indulging in her salsa schedule..talking on e phone endlessly and gg for 2 hr lunches den act nice & buy food back for boss? is tt hw pp climb up e corporate ladder? am i lacking some skills or sth?? curry flavour seems to be e key word here huh.

ok fine im fucking pissed with so many pp tdy. even myself. stupid me even went to e extent of printing out those photos, which cost bloody 50cents each. other pp oredi forgot who i am liao la. nabei cheebye! fuck u asshole go & die u freak! ur gf/wife will fuck another guy & he will squirt in ur bloody face cos u r a fucking cheehong juvenile piece of shit!!!!!

maybe..

today i made a fool of myself. i cried in my buddy's arms.


maybe if i had cried in his presence, he would not leave me.


maybe they are already having a wonderful time together now.


maybe i was just a buoy when he's having one of the worst moments in his life.


maybe i should convert.


maybe i should get outta here.


is there anything wrong with me?

lethargy

bumped into faith ydy...and thanks to her & her fren jenlee...managed to find e wretched tunnel hidden in one corner of e estates.. anyway i reached ecp at 1pm ydy..but e damn carpark f1 was located at e other end near bedok jetty...which took me abt an hour to reach..shld've jus rented a bike huh..haha. but had a pretty nice walk..listening to music (california..here we come..hahaha)..puffing away on my fags...

reached there at 2pm ultimately... luckily ray was there...so he let me go for e 3pm timeslot..so there i was...suntanning and talking on e phone for a gd half an hr with justin again...we talked abt life and love again...nowadays things seem so much clearer...i used to wonder & question pp's behaviour..but now, answers just come naturally. but of cos, there are much more to learn. anyways justin boosted my ego upon knowing my backgrd...haha. lemme reiterate! i was just a nerd back den in the 1990s k.

e lesson went pretty slow. desmond was pretty patient with all of us..but there were 2 indian-chinese kids which really got on my nerves. thoroughly arrogant & rude..though e mom was okay. i even had to urge to tell her to discipline her kids properly.

kk, cz, eugene & gf reached ard 5pm..they cycled/i struggled to blade for abt 2 hrs den went for lunch at a food centre in bedok. had my usual favs..hokkien mee..satay..stingray...i didnt eat as much as i thot i wld..surprisingly. we decided to make our move ard 10+...so i reached home ard 11pm. was deciding btw watching e maid at cwp or gg to gerald's plc for tv & drinks. in e end, mom forbade me frm gg out & i realised i was actually darn tired. so went to bed ard 12am..had quite a few weird weird dreams..

i think i woke up too early tdy too. i cld've slept till 11am. meeting yeelai for bewitched later..but im still tired. i need a massage really badly. argh.

how i wish people keep to their promises.

inline skating

inline culture just called me to ask me to go down for a trial lesson tmr. kinda weird to be so called "selected" to go for e class. plus the coincidence tt i was so upset abt having no kaki to go blading with. how weird can life be? hahaha. wonder whether i'd see ray there tmr. *shrugs*

fri nite

OMG...why am i still in the office??? :S

nought

the feeling of emptiness is back again. maybe i'm just sick of loneliness. i need people ard me. i need love. i need attention. just like anybody else.

anyway i just went for my first salsa class & i enjoyed myself man. esp when i get to learn something new with my best fren of almost 13 years. i mean, come on, once u step into society, how much chance do one get to learn new stuff? the monotony of life makes me dull man. moreover, i had decided to quit clubbing for good.

tmr's fri & the long awaited wkend is finally coming. but suddenly, im jolted into reality tt dis is gonna be a wkend of loneliness again. poor ash gonna slog hard at work tmr & so she cant meet me for dinner afterall. sat/sun oso noone gg blading or sentosa. any nice movies coming up? maybe i'll go catch something tmr. else i'd just work OT to earn more money for my travel indulgence.

hmm hmm... been reading & reading mitch albom's tue with morrie...damn i love dis book! everybody shld read dis book man. i think i could even type out every single word in e book & post it on my blog so tt i can read it everywhere. haha.

ok here's a quote: love each other or perish.

shld i quit my job?

cursed for life

am i strong? was i strong? pp always see me as invincible huh. hey bloody hell i ain't strong. but im not gonna allow myself to be vulnerable again. not in a bloody long while.

people are selfish. they just go for whatever makes them happy without thinking of the consequences, and the hurt they inflict upon others.

prob in e past i'd commence my routine of cursing all those who had done wrong to me. but not anymore. maybe im afraid of the bad karma now. and i still think tt what comes ard goes ard.

you will get your own desserts.

oh no. is tt a curse??

blading obsession

so many thoughts are filling my mind now...but they aint in a proper sequence and that hurts my puny brain a lot. as much as i'd like to believe wat justin said - tt things will get better - there is dis air of uncertainty & hopelessness in dis cooped up life of mine. yea sure i have frens...be it old or new who knows my situation...but they have their own probs too and mine seem so insignificant. moreover, wats bugging me is prob tt i care too much. i shld be looking fwd to my wkends (since my job sucks but at least there's saint mag) but i just keep wondering how he is, whether he is okay blah blah blah. whats wrong with me? plus dis wkend doesnt seem right as well. im dying to go blading but ash has got stuff on both sat/sun..and justin gg sentosa instead (yeah my blading obsession is now stronger than frisbee). j&j don't seem to show much enthusiasm in blading at the yishun carnival today. that leaves me with noone else. damn! anyway i just wrote a damn corny quote on my frenster..here it goes:

i've learnt that love is a lot like rollerblading. before u can even hold hands while blading together, u need to learn how to glide on smoothly on your own. in the presence of uncertainty, the chance of both fallng down together is gonna be high. and that could hurt a lot - cos one might collapse on the other.

tt explains the big bump on my knee now.

一千年以后

心跳乱了节奏
梦也不自由
爱是个绝对承诺不说
撑到一千年以后
放任无奈淹没尘埃
我在废墟之中守着你走来
我的泪光承载不了
所有一切你(需)要的爱
因为在一千年以后
世界早已没有我
无法深情挽着你的手
浅吻着你额头
别等到一千年以后
所有人都遗忘了我
那时红色黄昏的沙漠
能有谁
解开缠绕千年的寂寞

he's gone

he's gone, i'm lost.



suddenly, i find myself drenched.



in tears.

hahaha im bored again

walau im so bored..really dunno wat to do leh. maybe i shld've stayed in office to continue wif the proj huh. den can earn extra OT pay. but sian la no mood to work at all. dun understand why everything is pushed to me to do.

tdy cust was late. he came in & sheepishly said tt he's "supposed to have an appt wif karen lim ard 12.30 to 1". i glared back at him, introduced myself & told him sternly tt our appt was supposed to be 12pm. haha guess my notorious glare must hv scared e shits outta him. he's another of those rich kids anyway. stay in big houses, prance ard in town area in berms & slippers, study for masters at a tender age of 21, gg for phd thereafter blah blah blah. ok la, maybe im kinda jealous? hmm or perhaps im just lamenting over e lack of familial support. sometimes i feel as if im totally devoid of ties, love, humanity?

went shopping tdy during lunch. bot e adidas bag for tommie & a pair of shorts for myself from topshop. find them quite cheap la. or maybe im just a spendthrift. yeah trying to save up for holidays and for lasik. and tons of other things man. such as my gym membership, which i have yet to pay up & thus can't go haha. spent a lil too much in perth liao..like scott said, go on holiday for other pp..haha. oh well. i miss e place..and the peeps so much!! was juz gg thru e video clips, & i find them so hilarious!

hmm just had my shower not too long ago & i started cutting my own hair again..haha. really damn sianz w my hair la. so thin & limp! hw i wish i got thick luscious locks for me to play ard with. even thou i had dyed my hair only a mth back, i found myself looking at hair dyes again during lunchtime. siao liao. but dunno wat else to do with it leh. cannot cut cannot straighten..argh!!

why do i always get bored so easily????