Friday, June 29, 2007

Name that feeling: You'll feel better

Thu Jun 21, 12:31 AM ET

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Putting feelings into words makes sadness and anger less intense, U.S. brain researchers said on Wednesday, in a finding that explains why talking to a therapist -- or even a sympathetic bartender -- often makes people feel better.

They said talking about negative feelings activates a part of the brain responsible for impulse control.

"This region of the brain seems to be involved in putting on the brakes," said University of California, Los Angeles researcher Matthew Lieberman, whose study appears in the journal Psychological Science.

He and colleagues scanned the brains of 30 people -- 18 women and 12 men between 18 and 36 -- who were shown pictures of faces expressing strong emotions.

They were asked to categorize the feelings in words like sad or angry, or to choose between two gender-specific names like "Sally or Harry" that matched the face.

What they found is that when people attached a word like angry to an angry-looking face, the response in the amygdala portion of the brain that handles fear, panic and other strong emotions decreased.

"This seems to dampen down the response in these basic emotional circuits in the brain -- in this case the amygdala," Lieberman said in a telephone interview.

What lights up instead is the right ventrolateral prefrontal cortex, part of the brain that controls impulses.

"This is the only region of the entire brain that is more active when you choose an emotion word for the picture than when you choose a name for the picture," he said.

He said the same region of the brain has been found in prior studies to play a role in motor control.

"If you are driving along and you see a yellow light, you have to inhibit one response in order to step on the brake," he said. "This same region helps to inhibit emotional responses as well."

The researchers did not find significant differences along gender lines, but Lieberman said prior studies have hinted at some differences in the benefits men and women derive from talking about their feelings.

"Women may do more of this spontaneously, but when men are instructed to do it, they may get more benefit from it," he said.

The results may alter the traditional view of why talking about feelings helps.

"I think we all believe that by talking about our feelings, we reach deep new insights, and that understanding is what transforms us," he said.

"What we see is something that at first blush is far more trivial. By simply putting the name to an emotion, the person doesn't feel like they've come to any new insight. And yet we see this dampening response anyway."

Lieberman said while there likely are benefits to gaining enhanced understanding, talking about feelings may do something more basic.

"It's not just the deep thoughts," he said. "It's something about the way we are built."

Thursday, June 28, 2007

getting more & more depressed day by day.

am i really labelled as such a lazy bum tt noone believes tt i really do the household chores? i mop the floor, wash & iron clothes, wipe & tidy up the whole flat... but noone ever believes it. it may be a trivial matter, but i've kena too many of such displays of disbelief tt it's hurting my pride. when i do all the work, pp prob assume tt law has done everything. but when they find some dirt on it, they'd prob just put the blame on me.

and what's the use of doing so much? are they important? does doing all these (and at the same time bringing moolah home) guarantee a perfect relationship, a perfect marriage? how much do pp really appreciate wat is being done?

come to think of it. i'm just so unwanted. right from before the beginning of my life. i was nearly aborted, cos i was unwanted. and i was always alone in sch, at the workplace, cos i was unwanted. who knows, perhaps i had gotten married so quickly bcos i know i am unwanted & i got excited over the fact tt someone actually wanted me?

being a fat & ugly pig exacerbates the whole situation. how i wish i were tall & slim... and looked less like a pig. why is it tt my siblings & i are from the same factory, but i look such a disaster? maybe i'm just fated to be unwanted. maybe bcos i did loads of nasty things in my previous life. maybe it's just retribution. life is never fair, and i gotta accept it. but it's so difficult.

life is pure misery.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

how married life really is like

been getting the same question from close frens: how's married life?

and i always answered: quite abt the same. cos i used to stay over at hubby's place before we ROM-ed & living habits weren't too different. or so i thot.

married life can be tiring. i used to tell an old bf tt i wun wanna settle down yet, cos i dunwan to cook, wash, iron clothes, mop the floor etc. but i ended up signing on the dotted lines & scaring the shit outta pp who knew me. "pleasant surprise" they call it. ya ya.

after staying on our own for one and a half months now, i am starting to realise how my life has become. the laundry cannot never be finished, everything's always dusty & messy, and... the guy's always slouching on the sofa watching TV.

luckily, i'm starting to master the skills of ironing those big office shirts under 15 mins. one way to cheat is to get more short sleeved shirts for ah lau. tt's not a bad move, cos he gets new clothes & doesn't perspire as much since the walking distance is now triple tt of his parents' home. and i can skip ironing those casual wear by throwing them into the dryer cos the anti-crease function really works! i know it's extravagant to use the dryer since we're living in singapore & the sun can be scorching hot at times... but i tried hanging the clothes out twice & on those 2 occasions, stupid me caused the clothes to get soaked in the rain. so tt's it!

and abt cooking... okie fine i'm not an experienced cook. i can't cook steamed fish, stir up yummy dishes but at least i can do pretty tasty fried rice which my darlin loves. and side dishes are all those tt can be thrown into the stylux deep fryer. easy as a breeze! keke. wat's more challenging is estimating the amt of water for the rice cooker. shld've stuck to conventional rice cookers rather than microcomputers huh.

there are lots more for me to learn. and though it may be tiring & time consuming to keep our home in place, i thoroughly enjoy it! the degree of satisfaction is unbelievable & the freedom, privacy... is just darn cool.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

esp for ah line...

ah line said she was bored @ work & so i should update my blog more often so tt she can read... so here it goes! hahaa...

today i fell sick. waited for almost an hour before it was my turn to see the doc. cos there were some emergency cases. both of which were young children. when i saw the tears brimming in the mothers' eyes, i felt so touched & thot abt how my mom used to take care of me when i was young & sickly. it's so weird & amazing tt now we've gotten a place of our own, i am starting to bond wif my mom again. i talk to her & meet her more often than when i was staying @ my MIL's. nice nice. anyway doc got quite worried for me. gave me a jab on my bum bum w/o me realising & kept saying tt i look pale. he gave me 2 day mc to rest (how sweet).

pp ard me are married or getting married... qiao shld be next yr? even bumped into a website which displayed 40+ wedding pics of an old schmate (yueqi). i wonder who else is alr married and/or wif kids.

for us, we intend to walk down the aisle in 2009 & have our 1st child in 2012. tt's another 5 yrs more of freedom. good mah. can explore the world w/o any worries or burden. we even bot 2 mountain bikes & have been moving ard more easily the neighbourhood. now even gg to northpoint takes us less than 5 min. heh heh mebbi we can copy flo & name our MTBs "da hong" & "xiao hong"! =P