gdbye to ttys.

maybe i shldn't have sms him at all. his words are so hurting. totally brushing me off his life. i mean, fine lo. wun disturb u anymore den. take care my dear ex-fren.

lazy sunday

had a nice time with j&j gang on fri. had been really quite some time since i last saw them, and the last time didnt get to chat much also. makan at crystal jade for tea time, den went to kopi club, had triple choc ala mode again. super sinful lo. even dan oso say i look fatter liao. after tt a few of us went chinatown kbox. quite farnee la james & teddy. and realise jess sing fir songs really very nice leh. not easy to sing leh.

think need to go gym next week. but dunno whether i got discipline anot. last time got pingping to push both of us on. now, noone go with me hor, cannot persevere leh. toopid TS pills oso dun seem to work as well as wat other pp had said. it always gives me bloated feeling & loss of appetite lo. but e bloated feeling makes me look fatter than ever!

went back to work ydy. sianz, kena upset by her again!! but tried to make myself relaxed most of the time. even chit chatted wif customers. actualli life is liddat. the more u try to kancheong, the more u can't do anything properly. dunno la. mebbi some pp ACT kancheong onli. to make other pp feel tt they CARE lo. nowadays pp really scheming lo. haiz.

after work went to far east. wanted to just trim my hair lo. ended up perming my hair at haru the scene. effects not really wat i expected but e perm surprisingly didnt dry up my hair like e previous time (which was why i lopped it all off last yr). hope my hair will grow fast fast lo. den it'll look better??

FUCK OFF YOU IRRITANTS

Seng, J. says:
Hi..
pringirl@singnet.com.sg says:
yes?
Seng, J. says:
oh... well... nothing la.~
pringirl@singnet.com.sg says:
den dun msg me
Seng, J. says:
oh.. sorry then.

this is what i call IRRITATING.

easter eve drama

today is a really drama day. rushed to work & was thus a bit late for the meeting. he asked me to give some feedback but i felt bad to say negative things abt other pp, esp in front of their boss...so in e end, kept quiet. dunno whether dis is a mistake anot, but i kinda regretted when there was coordination prob again ard 10+. quarreled with her lo. afterwards, not only did she defended herself for a gd 2mins, she oso blurted blatant lies tt "its not as if she is chit chatting" & watsoever. i was furious, but i kept silent throughout. how many times hv i caught her chit chatting wif ex-citibankers when she was supposed to be at e counter?? after dis incident, i ignored her whenever i cld man.

went lunch wif clemmie at sakae tdy. complained to him abt her; looks like everybody has complaints abt her. there was one time when she used his HP to call an RM for half an hour. that is simply unacceptable lo. sometimes i really cannot figure out why her work attitude is as such.

abt an hour after i got back from lunch, "misty" lost her cool & chided her for some matters, which i am not sure what. but im very sure tt its for a gd reason. "misty" & i are not too different in character, just tt she is more outspoken than i am. plus the fact tt she had worked in e bank for a longer period of time. it was quite loud, so i went inside to hide for abt 30secs. when i returned, she was drenched in tears, and i didnt know what to do. my heart softened & i tried to find chocs for her. (am i too soft???)

2nd time was 5mins to 3pm. dis time round, i stayed ard. she actually talked back at "misty". since i still dunno head & tail, i kept my mouth shut. ard 4pm, they suddenly had an urgent meeting & i was left all alone to dong e counter. damn tiring lo. cant even go toilet. whenever i passed by e room, i cld hear loud talking & crying. i mean, why does she cry nonstop??

later on, i chked wif "misty" & gotta know tt she is really quite cunning, defensive, and to a certain extent, even childish. i cant believe the words she said to her boss man.

tdy was also xris last day wif hsbc. gonna miss those gd old times. though i had known tt she was leaving quite a while ago, i cant help but feel a bit lost. haiz.

my "godma"

my "godmother" came in again today, with her suitcases; but surprisingly, she is actually flying off only on friday. was portended by ms kind soul tt she had arrived the moment i came back from lunch; so i actualli hid inside the office for a gd 10mins (i came back early after facing disappointment of not able to find my fav adidas shoes). "unfortunately", she was still ard when i had no choice but to hit back to counter. she had, infact, specifically asked for me!

as usual, she rattled on abt her properties, her wealth, her "neighbour who is always cheating her of her money", her son & how she wished he were married. yeah as usual, she is hoping to matchmake me & her son. so it was inevitable tt she asked me abt my personal stuff, such as whether i had a BF, how long i had been working in hsbc etc etc. i also found out tt she grad from nyghs too, and my ex-principal was actually her classmate. the world is round indeed.

dunno when i'd be moving in to my new position yet, but looks like its confirmed oredi. ah beng seems to be extremely happie wif my shift & even took down my number to jio me out drinking wif them next time.

took leave to spend some time wif my mommy tmr. she wanna go macritchie. but im just fearful of the heat, as e weather nowadays is horrendous. if we were to go elsewhere after macritchie, i wld definitely feel v uncomfy wif a sticky feeling. aiya me is just plain lazy la. :p

nice monday

its a nice monday...everything went smoothly despite the morning rush. customers today were fascinatingly friendly & understanding...but den again, not many customers...which is also a gd sign hehe. even had a bit of time to chk out air fares & packages. looks like i must really save up a bit, so tt i can go for hol in may. too bad cant go in apr cuz just settled my cc bills (applause for myself!! hehe)... still pondering whether or not to take leave on my bday..cuz i dunwan to end up feeling bored e whole day. but den again i very scared i will kena nasty customers & spoil my mood oso. dilemma man.

tried to see her in a more positive manner. she's oso not so bad la. at least, enthu in serving customers. e only prob is tt she is very defensive. but tt doesnt affect me too much, cuz afterall we're from diff depts.

another piece of gd news (i hope!!) tdy is tt i'd be promoted (in terms of jobscope). i shall have my own table, a proper drawer & i'd not be termed as "recep" anymore!! though pay & rank still remain the same, at least i get to learn new stuff. i'd reached a plateau oredi, and its abt time to move on. im glad i decided to persevere. i hope i'd have a better tmr. :)

that obnoxious woman

sibei frustrated with her. cannot tahan at all lor.

it has really been a while since i felt such relief (on tue/wed). but the agony returned on thu, and i had to put up with her for 2 miserable days b4 my energy gets sapped dry. and if anyone thinks tt im being nasty (as usual), pls lor. im not e only who is complaining abt her.

basically, she irritates us in the many many ways as follows:

• she messes up e entire portion of her table, and undoubtly, violates Clear Desk Policy (cm info all over e table; screen showing full display of cm info etc etc.
• she occupies more than half the desk, hogs both the phone & the pc 90% of the time. when i made signals to her asking her to shift a bit more to her side, she didnt even budge. she only moved her big butt a lil after i blatantly says that she is taking too much space.
  
• she makes herself "occupied" with cms unnecessarily. e.g. 1: follows cm to the room even thou an rm is oredi attending to cm. e.g.2: she spends 15mins talking to a cm who is interested in doing investment. oh come on! is she a rm??
  
• she asks stupid qns such as: do cms need to sign on supp card app form? calls her cover at 11-ish to ask if she were gg for lunch when she oredi knew tt she goes at 11.
  
• she talks too much on the phone, and GOD knows who she is talking to! and i really cannot tahan the way she always exclaims: im gg to faint!
• she is a backstabber in disguise. she quotes names when talking to cms/internal staff, so that she can shirk responsibility when sth goes wrong. how evil.
• she makes pp think that she is efficient, hardworking, committed. she volunteered to take over some jobs initially but always pushes to other pp to do when boss is gone. prob is, whenever i leave her all alone to handle, she CAN'T manage!
• she doesnt seem to know what she is doing. she keeps checking e same screens in HUB, keeps talking on the phone, etc etc. nothing gets done!
• she's full of crap, really. she picked up e phone & slammed it down twice tdy. even though my hand was oredi in mid-air to pick it up, and she saw it. den claims tt she thot it was rebound call. CRAP.
• my 2 bosses dun seem to like her either. csm face changed when talking to her & avp complained b4 tt she sprouted nonsense (her ex branch) when picking up calls. sway lo. but she deserved it.
• she always refused to tell me abt cm probs when i probe, cuz she always thinks tt she can handle. but she really isnt smart at all. in fact, she is plain naggy.
• she is a liar. she lied tt she dunno abt this & that, whenever she did sth wrong.

ARGH...really dunno what to say liao. just 3 letters... CMI (CANNOT MAKE IT)!!!!!!!!

an interesting day

a nun boarded e mrt tdy. dunno why, such a simple thing cld stir up so many wild thots in my head. as i stared at her (like the rest of the pp in e cabin), i wondered. why wld any gal wanna shave her head bald, dress up in drabs & eliminate makeup from her life? eventually my thots grew wilder as i wondered if a cute looking guy were to lift up her chin, and whisper to her: "you look gorgeous", wld she succumb to e temptations?? haha guess im crazy to even have such thots!

life at work is pretty much e same. occasionally, weird customers wld come in & colour my life; but most of e time, its just rushing rpts, tending to customers, and gossiping. hehe. these 2 days were better, as "she" wasnt ard. noone fighting wif me over pc & phone. noone to keep sighing & muttering: "oh im gg to faint" over & over again...the list goes on and on and on... basically, noone to piss me off.

another mOxxy YxxW pattern lady came in tdy, but she's only similar in the physical sense. at least, she didnt insult me the way mOxxy Yxxw did. Dis lady took a quick liking to me cuz i didnt hesitate in helping her get tickets off e web. i happened to be on the exact webpage at e same time, but of cuz i didnt say tt. even though i didnt manage to secure the cheap $98 airfare to taipei for her, she kept saying tt she wld bring food to me next time she comes here. she even kept asking me whether i was married & said tt she wanna intro me to her son. haha so cute. i shld've told her tt i was married huh. :p

basically not bad la tdy...boss even shared her chee cheong fun wif me...but i worked till quite late, ard 8pm... so was quite hungry by e time my boy & i got back... chomped down almost a whole packet of char kway teow & more than half a pack of carrot cake. solid bor?? haha. no wonder i cant manage to slim down. nvm la. next time go marie france. boy sponsor! hehehe.

bday coming up in abt a mth's time. still thinking abt wat to do. got money constraints. haiz.

self comfort

bot the microdermabrasion set from loreal tdy. another of my impulse buys. really dunno wat possessed me to buy it, cuz i'd always been skeptical of such products. they nvr work. maybe my skin is beyond repair huh.

some thots ran thru my mind as i stood in e mrt, sms-ing away to keep myself bz. i wonder, how it feels, to be 35 & having my hair turn white day by day. wld i feel devastated? i guess i prob wld, since im such a vainpot. and though i still dun have any wrinkles now, i know they are coming. how scary. and what happens if i suddenly lose my BF/husband & become all alone? wld i cry myself to sleep or wld i just laugh it off as if it were no big deal? and what happens if i suddenly become crippled & have to be sneered at by pp who are young & healthy?

tdy, my boss came up to me & told me tt my probation wld be extended another 3mths. i probably looked too happy to receive this piece of news cuz she was kinda taken aback by my reaction. bcoz im so so unhappy in dis job! if i were to tender now, i can clear my leave & leave immediately. e only prob is tt i hadnt been diligent enuff to source for new jobs. my boss asked me if i were happy, i cldnt even look her straight in e eye, let alone answer her qn. she also asked if i were looking for other jobs. i told her that "honestly, im not looking". but truth is, my heart has already left dis coy long ago. i just had to persevere on in order to make my resume look more presentable. maybe im just so fickle minded. i get bored & restless too easily. i constantly seek changes in my life.

or am i plain lazy? sometimes i think i am, cuz if i were hardworking enuff to look for a new job, i'd be gone already. but most times, i aint. i do my work, i am efficient, i am responsible & committed. my bosses know that. im even smarter than most of them. if they lose me, it's their loss. big loss.

self comfort? highly possible. haha.

curse MOxxY YxxW

curse the woman by the name of MOxxY YxxW (coded for obvious reasons). fucking woman who came in trying to act difficult, trying to show pp that she is rich. wonder how her hubby can tahan her. this stupid woman came in, asked for a cup of coffee which is "not so sweet, just like you. not so sweet". fucking bitch. if she has the guts, go to hell & tell satan that he has BO la. hmpf!! gg to die oredi still so mean. anyway i believe in retribution. curse her with all my heart!!!

fcuking pissed

why is he doing this again? always pissing me off! i really feel that he does not understand me one bit. when i needed some support, he takes on a neutral stand. when i needed advice, he doesnt hear me out. its always the same. endless talk abt his work, work, work. who really cares when i get so fucking frustrated abt my work? and my mom? and my so-called frens?

ever since he decided to go after her, i practically dun hear from him anymore. he claims tt i am still impt to him; but did he even notice tt my eyes were swollen on tt nite? no he didnt. conversation was kept to a minimum even though we were sitting beside each other. is tt wat u call "trying to do sth abt it"? gimme a break

hasnt he noticed? i had been eliminated frm e gang since long time ago, & yet he can be so insensitive as to say tt i can go out wif them on sat. u think i am so thick skinned as to ask them out when they simply arent interested? look at their rom fotos. am i inside? no. my EX-bf is. not me.

pp are always liddat right. when they need u, they always call u. when they dun need u, they just disappear. fuck the world.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

i hate this world!

another day has just passed. unfortunately it's only midweek.

everyday, i scream silently to the mgt: FIRE ME. though most pp think tt working in a bank is deemed rather respectable, i feel tt i've landed myself into yet another shithole. or am i complaining too much, cuz everywhere is just the same?

though i am a uni grad and has officer rank, i feel darn lowly in e big tank. i suppose its the nature of the job itself. afterall, i am such an egotistical person; i feel that i deserve so much more respect. bcoz i am much smarter, skilful & efficient than any of them.

i shldnt have helped them! doing gd deeds doesnt pay at all. whenever i fell sick, who bothers to ask? "colleagues are afterall, colleagues". all they do is to demand this & that. no appreciation at all when i help; and only critical remarks when i don't (and i am not even fucking obliged to do so).

things arent anywhere better socially. frens who used to be close to me are all gone wif e wind. my so-called ex-"best fren" can't even rem where & which coy i working at. hardly anyone bothers to ask me out anymore; some of them presumed tt i am "busy with BF". even my ex clubbing kaki calls me just so as to "share some savings plans" with me. how thoughtful.

this world sucks BIG time.

finding neverland

here i am once again, in my solitary world. i really dunno who to turn to; in fact, i dun even know whether its necessary to turn to anyone. or shld i say, is there anyone worth me turning to? im worse than a loner. im called non-existent.

so many of the keep saying: "where are my friends?"; "i got no friends"; "nobody asks me out". and when i tell them that i am facing the same problem, they will just dismiss me by saying: "you got a BF." wtf? i had never felt so lonely in my life! no family; no friends; simply nothing to look forward to in life! i had practically given up everyone else in my life for him, yet all he does is shout at me.

today was no exception. whilst other pp's BFs wld be gently coaxing their GFs, hugging them close, buying 999 roses for them, trying to cheer them up when they are unhappy, mine simply shouts at me, screams the whole neighbourhood down, and starts slamming the brolly against e wall. as usual. and all bcoz of jealousy. what he did really resembled my dad, and my bro. my dad is no longer ard, and i had stopped talking to my bro altogether.

where is my neverland?