missing my dad

the other day i was surfing net & chatting on msn as usual, when i suddenly felt stumped for no reason. i just spinned subtly in my noisy revolving chair, uncontrollably allowing thots of my dad to overwhelm me. recollections of images of him lying on the bed motionless cause my eyes to moisten pathetically. i struggle to break away from the misery by trying to distract myself with which branded bag i wanna get, but it didnt help. ultimately, i limped feebly to the bed & continued staring into space. it was as if he was ard, asking me not to forget his existence. an amazing feeling, though it splashed my mind with an intense, mixed emotions.

tdy, i discovered tt the neighbour dept's boss was actually on compassionate leave - his dad had just passed on. how fragile is the human body. we can never know what will happen tmr. i must learn to treasure the people ard me else i will regret come one day, when each of them leave me one by one.

p/s: dad, i really miss you. :~(

caroline & me in mos burger 11.04.2005

blue tulips from james&jess&teddy&denial!

snoopy jigsaw from gerald!

is it her??

recently came across a post on a bulletin board in my company. think it really sounds like her. but anyway, according to misty, she has improved a lot. as for my side, i always try my best to see the beautiful side of pp lo. can see tt she can be a responsible person at times, but sometimes v farnee la. behave like a guy in e way tt she cheers whenever she accomplishes any task. okay, this is how e post goes:

Name
hAiZ
Date
28/03/2005 13:59:01
Department
Topic
Back Stabbing
Enter the details below :Haiz... Long story...Me recently then find out that i was severly back stab by my colleagues in my department so badly that now even my boss think that i am not on par... but the truth is.... haiz... (Suffering in Silence)I am just wondering how can 1 boss believe what she/he hear without listening to both side of the story... is it becaz, there is more people talking bad about me... so she/he decide to just believe then to find out....I just dun understand.... Me feels so left out and hurt by all these back stabbing....

hmm relax baby...relax :)

my m900

i finally got my m900! love it to bits man. so much better than k700i. the screen resolution is fabulous & the music is so much clearer & louder too. ya la me chao hi lang la. hehe. anyway, after some calculation, i realise tt i paid $520 - $400 + $317 - $195 = $242 for it. and kk helped subsidise $100 (hmm gotta buy him sth gd in may!). so its quite a gd deal. have posted some pix which i took using m900 below.

caught "be cool" ydy, find tt it's not as bad as what gerald said in her blog leh. it's so witty & made me laff. really can't imagine e rock wld actually stoop to playing such gayish roles! and man, he's gd...esp with e eyebrow thingie :p

tdy went esplanade to watch "sound of music" with xiaowei. the performers are really gd, and the children are soooo adorable!! would recommend this to everybody, but a bit pricey though. we sat in the $80+ seats & the stage was quite far away. luckily we got centre seats. thanks dear for sponsoring me such a wonderful musical! havent been to any quality performances in a while oredi. oh ya. i finally wore my bcbg max azria dress to esplanade tdy. i love this dress man.

:)

kk in mrt

mummy

james & jess in ktv

bern & me

me

xiaowei & me in esplanade theatre

feel so toopid

feel so toopid tdy. actually bot k700i which is far frm my dream phone (i still pining for m900 *sobz*) & e worst thing is, i went to get a data cable for 69 bucks. so altogether i paid $248 + 69 = $317. if only i paid $281 more, i cld've gotten my m900, which has superior screen resolution, pix reso, loud & clear sound output, and a better keypad. i just can't seem to press e buttons properly with this k700i. sounds ridiculous, but i m oredi contemplating selling it! ARGH!! dunno how la. sibei sianz now.

习惯失恋 (接力推介)

不拖手 或者都可堪称热恋 一拖手 比咳嗽更短 太快了 我未快乐过已失恋
想不起 被爱是如何温暖 想不通 未够资格使你心软 但也知道心会这么酸
* 理所当然我的错 令你忽然离开 半路留下我(也是我错么)
为何这么快看清楚 落得这结果 *
# 知我是个 无法讨好的人 相恋一刻 只是我的侥幸 然而回头 诚实去自问
我可讨厌到 如此乞你憎 知我连眼泪 也绝不感人 只知怎么考验 你的操行
从前为何 缠在你附近 #
你不寂寞 便嫌我笨 难道我未够好 未懂得热吻 足够令你怜悯 勾不起你的兴奋
不担心 自尊心这么受损 只担心 我将我看穿 我怕我 以后太习惯了失恋
Repeat * #
更加速发觉 原本都不相衬 我未够吸引 你未够狠
Repeat #
何必受罪 心即使碎一碎 我仍能 继续追 愿那一刻共聚 不懂的怎去相爱
爱人难 我肯学 定能爱下去

心淡

想不起 怎么会病到不分好歹 连受苦都甜美 我每日捱着 不睬不理
但却捱不死 又去痴缠你 难道终此一生 都要这么 不可争一口气
* 很谦卑 只不过是我太过爱你 连自尊都忘记 跌到极麻木 只好相信
又再爬得起 就会有转机 若我不懂憎你 如何离别你 亦怕不会飞 *
＃ 由这一分钟开始计起 春风秋雨间 恨(限)我对你以半年时间 慢慢的心淡
付清 账单 平静的对你热度退减 一天一点伤心过 这一百数十晚
大概也够我 送我来回地狱又折返人间 春天分手 秋天会习惯 苦冲开了便淡 #
Repeat * #
(说甚么再平反) 只怕被迫一起 更碍眼 (往后这半年间) 只爱自己
虽说不太习惯 毕竟有限 就当 过关
Repeat #

thick skinned bastard

From: JL Zhou
Date: 31 Mar 2005
Subject: :)
wow.. our chat get posted. :)
ok la. ~~:) u make ur own decision. and i respect ur actions. :) all the best.

question of e day:
why do i always kena such irritating brainless bastards? dun understand the term "FUCK OFF"??????