[ k i:: m i:: ]: December 2005

2005's bitter symphonies

i dun regret the whole transition at all. it has made me cross paths wif some nice pp whom i'd otherwise not have e chance to meet. for e.g. mag, feli, jane. or perhaps we'd bump into each other but not talk at all. i guess it was tt particular seat tt was so special. anyway, today i was threatened by her to extend my last day. i hate to be threatened. so i threatened her back. it worked but i decided to use a more subtle way of attacking her. i hope things turn out better. come on, noone is indispensable to any company. not even the CEO! im gonna keep to my stand no matter wat. cos a promise is a promise, and i'll make sure u keep to ur promise or i curse e heavens to slit thru ur tongue till ur throat!

okay fine enuff of bullshit. anyway, it's been a rocky 2005 indeed. but at least i survived! much stronger & more cynical than ever. but when i do lighten up, i realise tt my life aint too bad afterall. i am so blessed to have a wonderful and sweet guy (my darling) ;i have frens who care & guide me along thru'out these yrs (esp jj, estell, gerald etc) and most imptly, i have my mom who supports my decision all e while & who is always silently whipping up meals for me (and sometimes for dar too).

im just a blessed lil gal afterall...

you.

you promised me tt you wldn't get so drunk again, but you lied.

you suddenly sent me a msg saying tt i am rude to you, when all is well & i didnt even offend you.

you didn't even care when i told you that i quarrelled with the bloody fatso.

you just downed yourself in your own happiness & drank yourself silly.

you didn't even bother to reply my smses.

you are probably not worth it.

christmas~

christmas. a time when "the joy of giving" begins its wretched cycle. not tt it's a bad thing, but every year, pp distribute xmas presents just for e sake of giving, without putting much thot into the present at all. worse still, some pp might even "recycle" presents tt they've received but do not like, or stuff tt are oredi collecting dust in their abodes.

last yr, i spent a fortune on xmas presents. dis yr, i just can't be bothered. only gave to pp who are special & dear to me (you guys/gals noe who you are :p). seriously, i dun wanna give sth useless to someone and ultimately the gift goes to the dustbin or gets recycled for next yr's xmas. (yea some of my xmas pressies last yr are still hiding somewhere in my closet!)

but then again, stuffed toys are cute arent they?? \o/~

moving on

i started on 6 sep 05.

i'm ending it all on 6 jan 05.

yeah i'm leaving dis plc soon. i need to move on, juz like e others. anyway down here, pp r juz too occupied wif their own stuff. be it personal or work (i.e. trying to curry flavour wif e more impt pp etc). i used to work so hard. but in e end, im juz an invisible worker. totally unappreciated & forever under the eyes of those condescending imbeciles. esp those smelly AMs and disgusting bitches who put on a superficial facade. and those to claim credit for my hard work. and those who backstab me. all of u. im gg see through all of u, i will curse u all till u rot in hell!

anyway, i shld be happy, cos like wat gaven had said, i shld practise daily, to start and end e day happy, regardless of what happens! cos dis, i owe it to myself! im juz so glad tt i've managed to hit my objective juz when i was analyzing what i want outta my working life. my aim is to climb at least 2 levels within 3-5 years. i finally did it! now im gg one level up! i noe its gonna be tough, lotsa OT and a new, unknown environmt again. but i shall not be detered by dis trivialities! i wanna grow up, be more mature (not juz in work but oso in other aspects, e.g. personal life). perhaps i wun spend as much when im settled in my new office, cos orchard area is forever orchard ma. (wah juz nw went mng sale but hengz ah didnt spend one cent!!)

hmm tink its time to reflect..abt my life!! i mean, what exactly is so impt in my life rite now?? establishing my career?? forming a family?? earning as much as cash as possible to spend & travel?? what is tt one thing which is so meaningful tt when i am on my deathbed, i'd be contented tt i had achieved it??

it's time to learn how to die.